Healing for Her

In this deeply compassionate episode of Healing for Her, join Nicola P Hawkins as she tenderly explores grief beyond death—revealing how loss touches our lives in unexpected ways. Discover how grief can emerge from shifting relationships, career changes, health challenges, and unmet expectations.

This episode invites women (and whomever else) to courageously acknowledge their pain, give themselves permission to feel, and recognize that what feels overwhelming is simply part of a larger healing journey.

Whether you're navigating a recent loss or carrying old wounds, you'll find gentle wisdom to help you shift from despair to awakening, and learn to flourish well in your current season of life.

Episode Overview: In this heartfelt and timely episode, Nicola P Hawkins is joined by Dr. James Hawkins to explore the sensitive and complex topic of estrangement between adult children and parents—especially as the holidays approach. Through a lens of emotionally focused therapy, they offer insight and practical steps to navigate the awkwardness, pain, and hope that accompany distant or strained family relationships.

Main Points:

• Holiday Estrangement: Many families silently struggle with distance or cutoff, especially at emotionally charged times like the holidays.
• Normalizing the Experience: Estrangement brings layers—shame, blame, sadness, anger, fear, and sometimes relief. All of these are normal responses in deeply felt human relationships.
• Beyond Blame: Nicola and James discuss moving past simple blame to recognize the emotional complexity in each person’s experience—considering histories, perceptions, unmet needs, and meaning-making.
• The Importance of Personal Clarity: Before approaching difficult conversations, take time to notice and understand your own emotional responses, needs, and hopes.
• Assertive Communication: Passive avoidance and aggressive confrontation are common pitfalls. Instead, aim for assertive, clear, compassionate communication.
• Preparing for Hard Conversations: Give loved ones a heads up, clarify your purpose, express your needs without attacking, and be willing to reiterate your core message if met with defensiveness.
• Balancing Boundaries and Connection: Clearly name your boundaries, and remember that while not every conversation will bring reconciliation, doing your own “heart work” is empowering.
• Honoring the Full Story: Healing involves making space for both the pain and the precious moments in family histories.
• Gentleness and Self-Care: Pace yourself, engage trusted friends or therapists for support, and acknowledge the complexity—progress is possible even if it takes time.

Recommended Exercises and Practices:

• Internal Appraisal Exercise: Before a conversation, reflect on what events triggered you, what emotions arise, what stories you’re telling yourself, and what you truly need from the relationship.
• Write It Out: Prepare by writing your key points or feelings in advance—use this as a script during the conversation if things get overwhelming, or consider even sending your thoughts in a letter.
• Assertive Practice: Be willing to restate your message up to three times with slight adjustments, and if needed, pause the conversation to give both parties space.
• External Support: Invite a trusted friend, therapist, or faith support to help process and rehearse

Thank you for listening and letting us join you on your healing journey. You can reach out to me through email at healing4her@gmail.com, and stay tuned for more episodes. 

Hey sis... how has your May gone? How are you noticing what's happening in you and around you? And that of your people, or the things you're responsible for? And do you find yourself well within it all? Or, on a bit of a spiral? 

Either way, it is OK, sis! Take a moment and reflect with me, pause the talk, and do your "own" check-in. Get grounded in your moment, to show up in a way that says "I have options now!!!"

I have experienced and firmly believe that as healing occurs, our capacity to relate heals and allows us to leave a legacy of healing. We get to unlock, transform, and connect in ways that are so vital in impact. Connect with me via email at healing4her@gmail.com If you're looking for 1:1 support, and stay tuned for more episodes. I plan to return as often as possible to share along my journey in healing to flourish. 

I was privileged to listen and learn a few ways in which my hubby(PhD in Counseling) was able to lean in and support me on my journey towards transformation and growth. I know for sure he's had to listen to a few automatic negative self-talk from me. We reflect on how holding space for the women in your life does require something of you, but it also proves to be beneficial for you each. Being able to reflect and validate your real experiences and finding connection and bonding can chart a new level of relating.

I have experienced and firmly believe that as healing occurs, our capacity to relate heals and allows us to leave a legacy of healing. We get to unlock, transform, and connect in ways that are so vital in impact. Connect with me via email at healing4her@gmail.com and stay tuned for more episodes. I plan to return as often as possible to share along my journey in healing to flourish. To hear more from Dr. James Hawkins check out his website etc. at https://www.dochawklpc.com

Again, Thank you for listening! :)

James aka my hubby, otherwise known as DocHawk interviewed me on the Intergenerational and Relational Intersection of Healing for Her and how it transcends beyond my experience with myself and my family and reaches into the community.

I have experienced and firmly believe that as healing occurs, our capacity to relate heals and allows us to leave a legacy of healing. We get to unlock, transform, and connect in ways that are so vital in impact. Connect with me via email at healing4her@gmail.com, and stay tuned for more episodes. I plan to return as often as possible to share along my journey in healing.

I have experienced and firmly believe that as healing occurs, our capacity to relate heals and allows us to leave a legacy of healing. We get to unlock, transform, and connect in ways that are so vital in impact. Connect with me via email at healing4her@gmail.com, and stay tuned for more episodes. I plan to return as often as possible to share along my journey in healing.

 

I have experienced and firmly believe that as healing occurs, our capacity to relate heals and allows us to leave a legacy of healing. We get to unlock, transform, and connect in ways that are so vital in impact. Connect with me via email at healing4her@gmail.com, and stay tuned for more episodes. I plan to return as often as possible to share along my journey in healing.